We attended the Telstra Change of Plans event and after this event I was lucky enough to interview Jackie Coates the head of Telstra Foundation about children and screen time. How can parent ditch the guilt about screen time and have an idea about what constitutes healthy and helpful screen time?
No time for guilt, we have a job to do. Our kids are starting their digital journeys younger than ever, so it’s easy to see why parents feel it’s important that their child has a healthy relationship with their digital device. But what exactly constitutes ‘healthy’? And how much screen time is too much? I know my children have very different answers to these questions than I do. But with one child in their teens and another in their tweens, I can understand why. Devices have been part of their everyday lives for almost as long as they can remember, both at school and at home, while the only device I ever used in the classroom was a solar-powered calculator. If you are facing a difference in opinion, there are a few steps you can take to find the right balance when it comes to kids’ screen time. We also need to get beyond worrying about screentime and focus on how we foster good online behaviours from pre-schoolers up. In my family, screen time means finding the balance so that my kids stay in touch with the real world, stay social and safe with families and friends, and stay physically active. My advice is to set the bar for your family. I’ve found that one of the simplest ways to make sure my children have a healthy relationship with their digital devices is to involve them in setting boundaries around acceptable screen time. By giving them a say in how much screen time they think is (actually!) reasonable for day-to-day activities like homework, reading, gamin, watching their favourite shows and using social media, they’ve become more likely to stick to it. Also keep in mind that not all screen time is created equal. Think about the differences between using a device for homework or creative expression versus procrastinating on social media. My kids and I tend to allocate screen time for activities by merit – so the more valuable we all agree an activity is to their development, the more time they can spend doing it. As a family, try to agree on set ‘switched off’ times. This allows the kids to make sure they have enough screen-free time in their day to keep up with chores, hobbies, family life and friends, and it encourages them to make the most of their time online as well. Shutting down their screens an hour before bedtime is another way to help them get a better night’s sleep, too. What healthy digital technology habits should parents model? It turns out that adults now spend more time online than offline – something which was inevitable, but still manages to be surprising. I always try to make sure I’m leading by example, so if I want the dinner table to be a device-free zone, that means the same rules apply to me, too. Devices are put on silent and out of arm’s reach. Children are generally happier to follow rules if they feel like everyone in the family is playing by them. Kids – particularly young children - learn by modelling behavior that they see. Always try and put your phone down or move away from your screen if your child is talking to you, they should never compete for your attention with a screen. Lastly, set your expectations, have some screen free zones in your house – not just at dinner but also none in the bedroom and definitely none in the bathroom! Make sure your kids know to keep private things private, have some device down times in your and limit device use 1 hour before sleeping. If families find they don’t have the willpower to do this – explore Telstra Broadband Protect, where you can set device usage levels across your home network, which make sure the whole family powers down. How can digital technologies be used to support positive child-adult relationships? Technology is a great connector. I encourage parents to share their technology. Why not play games and apps together – make technology a social and shared space for your family. We have a family chat group, I play words with friends with my family and texting has been a lifesaver for us in terms of coordinating all the pre and post school busy. Sharing fun videos or GIFs we’ve seen is also a nice way to connect. My kids have also taught me Minecraft, and tried to explain Fortnite to me but the lesson wasn’t the main game here, it was the interaction to be able to understand their world and that they took time to invite me in and try to teach me. These interactions are priceless. In return, I’ve taught them how to be safe and smart online and this is very important and part of the child adult dynamic – that’s our role to keep them safe and empower them to make smart decisions. Also the negotiation process re screen time with your children is another positive way to connect with your kids and get them involved in decision making. You can talk about not just how long, but what type of activity they want to do while engaging with TV, phone, tablet or computer. Could you give 3 tips to help parents manage screen time? Three things that have worked for my family include:
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