Two Under Two and how I survived
Having a baby was something I always dreamed of, something I just always thought was one of my purposes in life and it was also something Hubby and I knew we definitely wanted to share together. Not long after having Arlo probably on a very sleep deprived morning I remember hubby and I clearly turning to each other and saying "ok we wont be rushing to have a second'. Don't get me wrong we absolutely loved Arlo and loved being parents but there were times when we definitely found it alot harder than we thought it would be. After having Arlo it was quite clear that I was starting to suffer from some post natal depression and with some counselling and GP appointments I was lucky that I was able to get on top of it quite quickly. This was another reason why we knew we would wait a while before having a second baby But fate (and lets be honest too many wines) had other plans and just after Arlos first birthday we found out we were expecting baby number two, these days known as Kohen. It was one day before my period was due and I had quite strong stomach cramps, yes I get cramps every month but something (lets maybe call it a mums intuition) told me these were different, infact I was having a strong case of dejavu because these seemed exactly like the cramps I had when I was pregnant with Arlo. I remember clearly thinking surely we aren't, it took 7 months to conceive Arlo I highly doubt we are pregnant from one time! I did as you do and peed on that stick and sat it on the bench and waited for what felt like the longest 5 minutes of my life! After 5 minutes I looked and saw one pink line, PHEW but literally within a second I took a double take and there it was ever so feint but ever so clearly there, TWO PINK LINES! I think at that moment I felt like I was going to be sick and it certainly wasn't morning sickness yet. Straight away I went downstairs and told Hubby who was definitley in shock and shared the same S**T what are we going to do reaction, but at the same time we were both excited and happy that the decision to have a second baby had been made for us. So after a week or two of letting it digest the nerves and disbelief quickly turned to excitement and we were on our way to becoming a family of 4. The pregnancy at first was surprisingly a lot more bearable than my one with Arlo. I had morning sickness but it certainly wasn't as bad maybe because I didn't have as much time to think about it with a 14 month old at home and working three days. The pregnancy continued to go really well until the third trimester when I started to suffer from SPD. I wont go into the pregnancy and birth in detail because I will save that for another post. Something that a lot of first time mums including myself find themselves thinking is 'how will I ever love another child as much as I love my first?' but its a funny thing as soon as your eyes meet your new baby for the first time it is like your heart instantly doubles in size. Those first few days while in hospital and having the hormones surge there were certainly times when I missed Arlo so much and felt this unnecessary sense of guilt and that continued to last on and off for a few months but I just always tried to tell myself that this is a lifelong friendship I have created for my boys, as time goes on I will see the love they share and know I have given them such a wonderful gift. So what's it like having two under two? Its lie this! It's knowing that you will be constantly compromising, Its knowing you only have two hands and there will be times that you have to neglect one for a minute to tend to the other, it means that there is probably no other time in your life that you will be needed and I mean CONSTANTLY needed. It’s learning that you will look back on when you just had one and think what the hell was I complaining about! When you have one you're a couple with a child, when you have two you're a full blown family! You will miss the times you use to get down time when your toddler napped or the time you got just one on one time with hubby when the toddler went to bed at night. You will learn to appreciate the one on one time you get with each child. For me leaving the house at first was hard and when ever we did it and made it there and back in one piece was a win! When out and about I would prepare myself for the endless repetitive comments I would receive such as; “Boy you’ve got your hands full.” “Was this planned?” “Those first few years were a nightmare for us. You contemplate never leaving the house but then remember how stir crazy the toddler and YOU get if you stay home all day. My tip is to head to the park early in the morning so the toddler can play, baby can sleep and if your lucky you can sit down and enjoy a takeaway coffee in peace. Playgroup is another wonderful thing I have joined since becoming a mum of two because it is 2 hours where Arlo can socialise and I can socialise too. Do not do what I did and think your Mary Bloody Poppins who can do the groceries with the toddler in the trolley, baby in the carrier who decides mid grocery shop to wake and scream until you leave your half full trolley of groceries in the isle so you can do a mad dash to the parents room trying to drag the toddler along with you to feed! They invented online groceries for a reason! But in saying that now that Kohen is 4 months old and Arlo is a bit over 2, doing the shopping with both of them isn't so hard anymore. Those trolleys from Aldi with the bassinet and seat are a life saver! yes at times I may be guilty of giving Arlo my phone to keep him quiet and occupied but if it saves my sanity and we leave with a task completed I certainly believe in the saying "do whatever works!" I have learnt to enjoy staying home because now I have 'double' the reason to. I have learnt that my eyes are very tired but my heart is very full! I have become even more ever so grateful for my husband who continues to shine in his role as a father and husband every single day! One day though they wont be so young anymore and you will effortlessly have them both out and about probably even doing that grocery shop! You will see other pregnant women pushing along a pram with a one year old or tackling two kids under two and instead of saying to her one of the comments above you will tell her how she is doing an amazing job, has so much to look forward to and what a fast and unbelievably enjoyable ride two under two truly is!
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